Top 5 Fugly Fashion Trends To Avoid
by Diana
While there are exceptions to every rule, the following five fashion trends are best avoided, or at least, adopted with extreme care. (Actually, I take that back - there are no exceptions to the femullet - I challenge you to find someone who can rock a femullet (see No. 5)).
1. Low-Rise Jeans.
In and of themselves, there’s nothing wrong with low-rise Jeans. But,all too often they lead to two of the biggest fashion blunders imaginable, namely: the muffin top and thong flash (see below, this poor soul is sporting both). My editor asked for a picture to be included with this list where possible, and, low and behold, I’ve got one. (I admit, taking this photo was not one of my finer moments.)
2. Uggs
These. Belong. On. Eskimos. And most definitely not on chics in miniskirts, unless you’re going for the “My IQ is Lower Than Your IQ…Wait, What’s An IQ?” look.
3. Crocs.
My daughter wears these, but she’s three. And she also wears a princess dress and rubber Hello Kitty boots. Simultaneously. Without underwear.
4. Skinny Jeans.
I feel like that kid in “The Emperor’s New Clothes,” and we all know he ended up being right, so I’m just going to come out and say it: Skinny Jeans are not, and never will be, flattering, on anybody, ever, ever, EVER! They may be trendy, but so were parachute pants. And skinny jeans on men? Yuck!
Note: I’ve seen them look “o.k.” on some women. (And If I know you and you happen to have worn a pair in my presence recently, of course, I would be referring to you).
5. Since this is just a “Top 5” list, I’m bunching all of the following into number five, as they all bear mentioning: Dolphin Shorts, Shooties (i.e., the boot/shoe. Unless your goal is to make your legs look like stumps, avoid these, they only work on the super long-legged), Mens’ Contrast Collar Button Down Dress Shirts, Scrunchies, Popped Collars, Visible Bra Straps, Baseball Caps On Sideways, and, last but not least, the Femullet (yes, the Female Mullet. If you think those are a thing of the past, I just saw a fine specimen on a female newscaster last week).
